Take a break from all that data crunching before the number starts talking to you, literally!
How about some pick-up lines for the data geeks:
Girl, you must have been a square in your past life because you have all the right angles.
How can I know all the digits of the pi when I don't even know the digits of your phone number?
To start off the new year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Who was the roundest knight at the round table? Sir Cumference
Why? Because he ate too much Pi!
The average statistician is just plain mean.
Why don't they serve beer at a Math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
What did 0 say to 8?
X2 asked: "Do you believe in God?"
X3 replied: "I believe in the higher power?"
Hey statisticians! Do you know the latest stats jokes?
In God we trust, all others must bring data.
I asked a statistician for her phone number; she gave me an estimate.
Three statisticians went deer hunting.
The first statistician shot and missed the deer, a foot too high.
The second statistician shot and was a foot too low.
The third statistician cried, "We hit it!"
Definition of a Statistician: A Mathematician broken down by age and sex.
What did the statistician with his head in the oven and his feet in ice say?
"On average, I'm fine."
If there is a 50/50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of 10 it will.
Rene Descartes went into his favorite bar and the bar tender asked, "would you like your usual drink, Monsieur Descartes? " Descartes replied "I think not" and promptly disappeared.
A mathematician, statistician and accountant were interviewing for a CFO position. The hiring committee asked them all the same last question:
"How much is 500 plus 500 ?" The mathematician was first and without hesitation he replied "1000." The committee says 'Thank you" and dismisses him. Next, the statistician's reply to the same last question: "On the average, 1000 with 95% confidence." The committee says, "Thank you" and dismisses him. Last is the accountant."How much is 500 plus 500?"" His reply: "What would you like it to be?." They hired the accountant.
What's the difference between a PhD in mathematics and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four!
A mathematician walked into a bar and ordered root beer in a square glass. - heard on Prairie Home Companion (click here for more of those jokes)
How many directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
- None, but they all would like to be involved!
A mathematician, a statistician, and an engineer walked into a bar......